Partners for Collaborative Solutions
BEYOND ALL OF YOUR WILDEST DREAMS QUESTION
There is an old adage, “If you don’t know where you are going you will end up somewhere else.” Therefore, it is critical that we gain a clear picture from our clients of what will be hard signs of dramatic changes in their thinking, feeling, and doing in their successful treatment outcome. A great goal-setting question to ask families in initial sessions to gain access to their ideal treatment outcome picture is the beyond all of your wildest dreams question. The family is asked the following sequence of questions:
- “Let’s say are session today proves to be helpful beyond all of your wildest dreams, what specifically changed with your situation?”
- “How will that change (mother is not yelling as much) make a big difference to you?”
- “How will you be treating her differently when she’s cut back on the yelling?”
- “While driving home from our session, how else will each of you be able to tell that your wildest dreams are really happening?”
- “So, no reminders about doing homework. What will your parents be talking with you instead about that you would really appreciate?”
- “How will that make a difference to you?”
- “I’m curious, sometimes out of the blue parts of people’s wildest dreams had already started to happen a little bit, have any of you noticed this happening for you individually or in your relationships?”
We have spent with some families close to 45 minutes expanding the possibilities what their ideal wildest dreams compelling future reality will look like within the family, with friends, and in every social context they interface with. The beauty of this fun question that taps families’ imagination powers is that they take the lead in co-generating together their own unique solutions to their difficulties. We can then prescribe for them to begin experimenting with their new wildest dreams ways of viewing and interacting with one another and others outside the home and keep track of what works. We also use this question with couples.